Switching Things Up
by LiveForeverOrDieTrying
Summary: When you have chakra reserves big enough to make thousands of Shadow Clones, even a jutsu as simple as the Substitution Jutsu can be ridiculously powerful. Or maybe just ridiculous. Sasuke bashing. Utter crackfic.
**A/N: When in doubt, write the first crappy idea that comes into your head. Maybe you'll get an idea to break through your writer's block on other projects. Or, maybe you'll just get a crap fanfiction to post and maybe people will enjoy it. Or flame it. I don't mind either way.**

"Alright class, today we are going to be learning a new ninjutsu!"

For once, the students actually sat down and shut up without being told.

"Today, we are going to learn the Substitution Jutsu. It has five hand seals; Tiger, Boar, Ox, Dog, and Snake. When used correctly, it will replace you with a nearby object similar in size to you. It is possible to focus on a certain object you want to switch with, but trying to switch with objects that are larger or smaller than you will cost a lot more chakra than normal, as will attempts to switch with things that are far away. It is also possible to switch with people, but for that to work you have to have enough chakra to completely overpower your target's resisting chakra. I don't expect any of you to be able to do any of that until you are genin at least, and you probably won't be able to switch with other people until you are chūnin or jōnin. For now, let's go outside to practice on training logs."

A veritable stampede promptly ensued, each student hellbent on being the first to perform this new technique. Heading the charge was none other than Uzumaki Naruto, who, living up to his reputation as a legendary prankster, had recognized the potential mischief he could get into if he could switch places with whoever he wanted.

Iruka pondered the blonde maelstrom and the difficulties he faced before following the raucous class outside. _When he learned the Clone Jutsu, he couldn't successfully form any because of how much chakra he was putting into the technique. Maybe he'll have better success with this one?_

Once outside, the ninja wannabes lined up facing the omni purpose training logs that would be their targets for substitution. True to form, Naruto made sure he was immediately adjacent to Sakura, who had deliberately chosen the station immediately adjacent to Sasuke. Neither was interested enough in their crush, however, to let it distract them from the new jutsu they had to try out.

A chorus of voices cried out "Substitution Jutsu!" as they performed the technique for the first time. Many met with an anticlimactic failure, having put too little power into the technique. Some, including many of the ninja clan heirs, succeeded on their first attempt because of the additional chakra control practice they'd had outside of the academy. One, however, had encountered an entirely different problem.

"WOO! IT WORKED! … Now how do I get down?"

Naruto had somehow managed to _miss_ the training log that he had been aiming for. Maybe his attention had wandered, maybe he had poured too much chakra into the technique, maybe he was simply thinking too much about wooden objects in general instead of the particular wooden object he had intended to switch with. All he knew, was that he had somehow managed to switch with a loose branch that had been caught up high in a tree… on the other side of the academy training field.

The boy's dilemma briefly baffled Iruka; he knew the boy had chakra, but he didn't realize he had _that_ much chakra. But, his teaching instincts kicked in promptly, and he shouted to Naruto.

"Try using the technique again to switch back!"

Naruto blinked at the simplicity of the problem. Then, he blinked again at the possibility of being able to traverse long distances with such ease. Then, he grinned and ran through the handsigns again, forgetting completely that his lack of focus on the task at hand was (probably) the reason he was in a tree to begin with.

Thus, it came as no surprise when he found himself back on the ground, but in Sasuke's place. Sasuke, who had been too surprised by what the dobe had apparently been able to do, was taken unawares when his surroundings suddenly filled with smoke and he found himself several dozen feet off the ground. His fangirls may deny it, and he himself may claim that it was a "shout of alarm", but the sound he made when he found himself unexpectedly treed was not manly by any stretch of the imagination.

Iruka's eyes widened at the sheer chakra capacity that such a careless use of an E rank jutsu had demonstrated in his charge. Even if he had only switched with an academy student, Iruka knew that said academy student had the chakra levels of a mid level genin, chakra levels that could only be overpowered by someone with chūnin level reserves at the least. For reserves of that size to be available to a child so young, not even at puberty yet, the boy's potential was enormous. Unfortunately, despite how enormous his potential might be, Naruto currently had a problem that could very well cut his ninja career short if he didn't do something quick. A problem of the female variety.

"YOU BAKA! HOW DARE YOU STRAND SASUKE-KUN LIKE THAT!"

The irate kunoichi-in-training closed in on the startled blonde, preparing to knock him over the head hard enough to send him back to the tree to retrieve her Sasuke-kun. Naruto, knowing from experience how painful one of Sakura's punches could be, did the first thing he could think of to avoid the one he was currently facing down.

"Substitution Jutsu!"

While Sakura would still never go out on a date with the annoying boy, from that point forward she resolved never to attempt to hit him again, lest he once again substitute with her object of affection to avoid the blow. Not to mention the fact that it was unbecoming of a dark-and-broody type to yelp in such a girly way when hit, and Sakura didn't want to unintentionally embarrass her Sasuke-kun again.

…

Naruto was on the run once again, angry leaf nin nipping at his heels. He had just graffitied the Hokage monument, and now had to escape the posse that had formed to catch him. He'd practiced the Substitution Jutsu extensively to accomplish just that, however, and was now tossing random civilians in his pursuers' way by substituting with them at opportune moments. Hard to ignore a boy when he was switching places with you and getting you tackled by a chūnin, huh? Luckily, the ninja were trying to be gentle, seeing as the perpetrator was just a child, so nothing was injured except the leaf nins' pride.

Through diligent dodging, sneaky stealth, skillful substitution and amazing alliteration, Naruto somehow managed to escape all of the nin that were tailing him. All, that is, except the one he had wanted to avoid the most.

"NARUTO! How dare you deface the Hokage monument like that!"

Iruka was scary when he was in front of a class, but when he had you cornered and singled out, he was pants-shittingly so. Naruto cringed at the man's ire. Or perhaps it was the pain of his ear being grabbed. It was probably the latter.

"You are going to go and clean up the mess you made right now!"

Iruka began dragging Naruto away by his ear towards the monument. Naruto had other plans, however. His hands blurred through the signs of what was quickly becoming his favorite Jutsu, mostly because it was the only one he could actually _do_ , and substituted with whatever he could find to substitute with.

Iruka was in no mood to fool around that day, so when the ear he had been pulling suddenly stopped moving, he replied with a sharp tug to get his hostage moving again. Unfortunately, said hostage was no longer Naruto, and therefore was not expecting his ear to be tugged in such a startling manner. The effeminate squeal that issued from the last Uchiha did nothing to help his tarnished reputation after the unfortunate incidents at the Academy earlier in the month.

Several hundred feet away, near the entrance of the Uchiha's apartment, Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. He had finally found a way to avoid Iruka! He had escaped! He was on the verge of cheering in elation when a trashcan to his right was suddenly engulfed in smoke. From the smoke emerged an even _more_ irate Iruka than the one Naruto had escaped from.

"You're not the only person that knows the Substitution Jutsu you know. Now get going!"

It had been worth a shot.

…

Naruto was shellshocked. _He_ was the biggest, most evil demon in the world, the one that had tried to destroy his home years ago? The thought turned his stomach with guilt. He was responsible for so much destruction, so many deaths… no wonder everyone hated him.

He was so surprised because of the revelation that he only just noticed Mizuki throwing a fuuma shuriken at him. His eyes widened as the weapon approached, and he reacted instinctively. Iruka, who was watching the proceedings with wide eyes, sprung into action when he saw his pupil in danger. Both Naruto and Iruka closed their eyes, and a dull thunk of the fuuma shuriken sinking into something solid reverberated through the clearing.

Iruka was the first to open his eyes, surprised that he didn't feel any pain. He had flung himself between his pupil and the shuriken, and was surprised to see the aforementioned shuriken buried in the ground in front of him, his pupil nowhere in sight. He sweat-dropped when he realized that Naruto had substituted with the shuriken, rendering it harmless and Iruka's attempted self-sacrifice pointless. He turned around to see Naruto peak with one eye to see if the shuriken had hit him.

"Uh, Naruto, you know I was supposed to take that hit for you, to show you that you aren't a monster and that I care about you, right?"

Naruto frowned in confusion, then chuckled and sweat-dropped, rubbing the back of his head. "Oh, sorry, guess I forgot to read the script."

…

Naruto crouched on the table in front of Sasuke, glaring daggers at him. Sasuke glared back, not willing to sit there and ignore the loser when he was making such a nuisance of himself. Unfortunately for both of them, the boy sitting in the next row down chose that moment to stretch, bumping into Naruto and knocking him forward.

However, Naruto had been working on his Substitution Jutsu extensively. At this point, he had it down to the point where he could perform it instinctively without handsigns. Having been startled by being bumped unexpectedly, Naruto reacted naturally and substituted. Unfortunately for both Naruto and Sasuke, however, Naruto hadn't been focusing on a specific target, so he substituted with something in the room randomly, something rather unfortunate.

In a puff of smoke, Naruto appeared above Kiba, quickly causing both of them to tumbled to the ground, with Naruto sitting on Kiba's head. Naruto jumped off as soon as he gained his bearings, embarrassed about his unfortunate landing. However, his attention was drawn to his former position by an effeminate yell that the class was beginning to associate with Sasuke.

The unfortunate boy had Akamaru clinging to his face. However, Akamaru lacked any appendages appropriate for clinging, so the way he managed to maintain his grip was by sinking his teeth into the last Uchiha's nose. The Uchiha did not react calmly to having numerous sharp teeth dig into his olfactory organ, and began flailing around in a panic. This, in turn, startled the small pup, which was now being flung back and forth by Sasuke, grounded only by his jaws. This had two results. The first was that Akamaru tightened his grip reflexively, causing more pain to the pioneer of the duck-butt hairstyle. The second was a standard reaction to startling occurrences even across species: an emptying of the bladder. Because of the beauty of centrifugal force, this caused dog urine to spray outward magnificently, soaking the Uchiha and everyone nearby, which happened to exclusively consist of Uchiha fan-club members that had fought tooth and nail to get the closest seats to the object of their affection.

And so, Naruto got to watch from his position next to a freshly sat-upon Kiba as the noble scion of the Uchiha clan make a screaming, piss soaked fool of himself, with a dog attached to his nose saturating the emo-boy fan club with foul-smelling irony. Even as Naruto stared in awe at the majestic canine urinary pinwheel, the foolish emo tripped over the desks, sprawling head-first into a pile of screaming, dogpiss covered fangirls and fanboys.

Akamaru managed to get free of the aptly named dogpile, trotting over to his owner with a nearly smug look on his snout. Naruto resolved to buy the pup a dog treat or something for helping him perform that beautiful accidental prank.

Sasuke finally freed himself from the unfortunate pileup, asshat (get it, a duck ass on his head because it's his hair, so it's an asshat?) matted down with canine urine. He looked around until he spotted the boy that had caused this fiasco and _glared_ at him. How dare he humiliate the heir to such a noble clan as the Uchiha.

Naruto's eyes were wide, his throat was tight from trying to hold in laughter, his mouth was stretched and taut from suppressing a smirk, and his face was red from the effort of maintaining himself. He thought the incident couldn't get any better, but the Uchiha had just handed him an opportunity on a silver platter, and he intended to make the most of it. His eyes nearly glowed with mirth as he prepared to deliver the killing blow.

"Hey Sasuke-teme, no need to be so _pissy_!"

The class descended into hilarious pandemonium.

…

"Remember, you get one hour to get a bell, or else you fail. Ready? Begin!"

Kakashi had expected the three fresh genin to dart into the woods immediately. Well, actually he only half expected it. He knew Naruto was brash, so it wasn't at all unexpected when he didn't budge an inch, even as his teammates retreated to the treeline and hid.

"...Hm? You're not going to run with your teammates?"

Naruto just smirked, made a unique handsign, and briefly vanished in a puff of smoke. When it cleared, three Narutos stood where one was previously, all wearing identical expressions.

"Well, shadow clones are great and all, but I hope you don't think you can face down a jōnin with just two."

Naruto folded his arms, expression unchanging. His clones each ran through a very familiar set of hand signs, for the benefit of Kakashi and his two teammates in the woods.

"Substitution Jutsu."

With a puff of smoke, the two clones were now right next to Kakashi, and in their place two bells were suspended in mid air. The clones dispelled as Naruto caught the bells. Kakashi blinked, or possibly winked, since it was impossible to tell what his covered eye was doing, and cocked his head to the side as he watched a genin do singlehandedly what no other genin before him had been able to do, using nothing but a simple E rank jutsu (and a B rank one, though that was a moot point because it would've still worked without the shadow clones).

Naruto held up a peace sign and grinned brightly as Kakashi sweat-dropped.

The other genin tentatively left the safety of the woods to rejoin their surprisingly successful teammate.

"Well, congratulations, I guess. But now you have two bells, and you only need one to pass. Who are you going to have on your team, and who's going back to the academy?"

Naruto squinted for a moment in thought, then tossed a bell each to both Sakura and Sasuke. Kakashi's eyes (or eye) widened.

"Well, you said whoever got a bell within an hour passes. I got the bells with my substitution, so I passed, and now Sakura and Sasuke both got a bell, so they pass too now. Nobody's going back to the academy."

Kakashi sweat-dropped again, bigger this time. He didn't intend to include a loophole in the rules to let all three through; the point was to get them to ignore the rules in favor of teamwork. Naruto was right, though, and Kakashi wasn't about to deny it.

"Fine, you all pass."

…

(This is pretty much the point where I stopped trying)

Tora was cautiously hopeful. She had evaded capture for three days now, and was making her way through the woods near Konoha's walls. Soon, she would be free of the dreadful woman that always tried to strangle her. She shuddered involuntarily at the traumatic memories.

Those pesky humans thought they were so sneaky, slinking around in the bushes and trying to grab her. She could smell them and hear them a mile off, no, _two_ miles off. She definitely _let_ them sneak up on her, like a game of cat and mouse where the mouse suddenly becomes a bigger, scarier cat after the smaller, pathetic human-shaped cat gets too close. That was definitely it, she was toying with the humans. Definitely not getting snuck up on, no sir.

That was the last thought to pass through her head before she vanished in a puff of smoke, replaced by a clone of a boy with bright blonde hair and an even brighter orange jumpsuit, who promptly dispelled himself.

"Er, well done, Team 7, uh… that's a new record for the Tora capture mission, a total time of, er… seventeen seconds…"

The Hokage trailed off as the aforementioned demon cat leapt from her owner's arms and dashed for the door, her owner calling after her to no avail.

"Oh dear, not again. I suppose I'll have to ask for another team to find my sweet little baby…"

Naruto sighed and formed a clone, who quickly switched with the cat once more. The Hokage sweat-dropped and amended his previous statement.

"I suppose the new record is down to… four? Let's call it four seconds. Not like anyone's ever going to beat it anyway, might as well make it four."

Naruto paid little attention to his grandfather figure's disgruntled mutterings, eyeing the little furry demon as she struggled in her owner's arms. Sighing in an even more put upon way, he preemptively formed a clone and counted backwards in his head. _Five, four, three…_

The cat used her owner's face as a springboard as it _cat_ apulted (terrible, I know, a right _cat_ astrophe I caused with that pun, yea?) towards the open door that promised freedom and mice and no more grabby-huggy ladies. The clone switched with it immediately, and the aforementioned grabby-huggy lady grabbed and hugged her little furry monster once again.

The Hokage deadpanned at Naruto. Naruto deadpanned right back. The rest of Team 7 deadpanned because they were being ignored because the author couldn't come up with any dialogue for them in this scene. Sasuke yelped girlishly for no particular reason because the author wants him to (dance, my puppets, dance!). The cat deadpanned because everyone else was deadpanning and she didn't want to be left out.

"Congratulations. You have officially set the record for the fastest Tora capture mission at a whopping three-tenths of a second. If you work on your reaction time, maybe you'll be able to bring it down to two. Now take your damn C rank mission and go, I have porn- er, paperwork to do. Send in the drunkard!"

Tazuna stumbled in, took one look at the ensemble of ninja that would be guarding him, and started to mouth off. "Wha'? Wha's this? A coupl'a kids and- ARGH". Then Tora jumped on his face, and he screamed, which startled Sasuke who screamed as well. Naruto idly wondered why all of the animals in this story seemed to end up on someone's face.

…

The mist thickened as the four ninja and one bridge builder continued onward toward their goal. Suddenly, there was a noise in the bushes off to the side. Naruto reacted immediately, throwing a kunai at the source of the sound.

"Naruto, what are you doing, you scared that poor rabbit!"

And scared it was, because it did the most natural thing rabbits do when they're scared: it jumped. Right onto Sasuke's face. Who screamed again.

…

The three genin stood around the bridge builder in manji formation, Kakashi in front of them. The mist was stifling, and nobody could see more than a few feet in front of them. Zabuza chuckled from within the mist.

"There are eight points where a strike will be fatal… so many to choose from… heart, brain, carotid artery, spleen, left kneecap, pinky, weenis, earlobe, epidermis, moustache… wait, I lost count…"

Naruto decided to use the strange nin's ramblings as an opportunity to strike while he was distracted. He quickly formed a clone who switched with that cool looking sword that Zabuza was swinging around earlier.

"...alright, heart, brain, spleen, left kneecap… wait, I missed one… ok, heart, brain-"

He was cut off as his super cool looking sword that was always so fun to swing around disappeared in a puff of slightly thicker smoke than the smoke that was already in the air, being replaced by an orange clad child who was being gripped by an ankle.

"Hiya."

Zabuza peered at the boy curiously for a moment, before shrugging and charging toward the bridge builder anyway, as though he hadn't lost his sword.

Meanwhile, Naruto had underestimated how heavy a five foot long hunk of steel really was, and found himself pinned underneath it. Before he could substitute with something to escape, he was stepped on quite unpleasantly by a former mist nin wielding a weapon that looked eerily similar to one of his clones. That the missing nin's weapon waved at him as it passed certainly helped to solidify the illusion.

Then, Zabuza knocked the bridge builder upside the head with the makeshift sentient sword (aren't sentient swords supposed to be super powerful? Guess Naruto makes a pretty good sword then), which popped quite anticlimactically without harming the client. Zabuza looked put out briefly, before bursting into water as Kakashi stabbed him. Likewise, Kakashi burst into water when Zabuza stabbed him. This continued for several minutes, Zabuza being fond of water clones and Kakashi instinctively copying Zabuza's technique with his Sharingan over and over again.

During this time, Naruto finally managed to escape the surprisingly effective Sword Prison Jutsu that he had accidentally invented on himself. He half expected Zabuza to retrieve his sword, but it seemed that the swordsman liked Naruto's strategy better, if the water clone he was swinging around was any indication. Kakashi, in true Copy Nin form, had copied this dubious Kenjutsu technique and was now duelling Zabuza with a water-clone-sword of his own.

Sasuke, ever hungry for power, decided it was a good idea to try to steal the awesome sword that Zabuza was currently ignoring. He managed to get it halfway upright before he lost his grip and got pinned under it like Naruto had been. He screamed in a most effeminate manner. Sakura reacted immediately to her Sasuke-kun's distress, lifting the big sword like it was made of paper and making both Naruto and Sasuke's jaws drop. Even Kakashi and Zabuza stopped fighting at the sight, their unorthodox weapons hanging limply from their hands and staring at the sight as well. Zabuza was the first to react.

"What the hell, pinky!? How the hell can you lift that? It took me months to get strong enough to throw it around that easily! You're cheating!"

Sakura just smiled at Sasuke. "Impossible feats of strength are definitely possible in the name of love!" Her arms gave that moment to give out, her love-induced strength exhausted. The sword, having moved little since being lifted off of Sasuke, promptly fell right back upon him, eliciting another squawk of pain. Zabuza face palmed, as did his sword-substitute.

"Oh, give me that you stupid whelp."

Now wielding a legendary sword and a sentient 'sword' simultaneously, Zabuza charged at the baffled Kakashi. Naruto, ever helpful as he is, made another clone that switched with the sword again. The sword teetered, threatening to fall on the boy, then fell the other way, directly upon the duck-headed Uchiha. He grunted in a most manly way. Just joking, he screamed like a little bitch.

Zabuza, now wielding two sentient 'swords' continued his charge, only to be met by a bemused copy nin who had somehow also gotten a hold of a Naruto clone. The two fought for some time, replacing their clone-swords when they dispelled, when Zabuza finally kicked Kakashi onto the surface of a nearby body of water and trapped him in a water prison jutsu. Kakashi panicked briefly, about to tell his kids to run, when he realized that he wasn't an idiot and simply substituted with Zabuza.

Zabuza, not to be undone, decided to substitute with that annoying blonde kid that kept trying to steal his sword. Unfortunately, he didn't have enough chakra to do that, instead managing to substitute with the duck-haired boy who had just managed to escape the confines of the surprisingly effective Sword Prison Jutsu. He would have screamed if he hadn't been trapped in a bubble of water.

Kakashi cancelled the water prison jutsu, dragging Sasuke back to shore. The four nin regrouped in front of the bridge builder, facing down Zabuza as he and his three 'swords' (he now had an additional clone attached to his leg with chakra) regarded them curiously. Naruto trembled at the prospect of facing such a powerful ninja. At least, that was before Naruto realized that he had actually _beaten_ a ninja that was much more powerful than this weirdo, and with a single jutsu no less. So, he decided to use that jutsu again.

"Sexy Jutsu!"

Zabuza was immediately sent flying with a catastrophic nosebleed, careening into a tree. His clones were each propelled into other trees via bursts of water from their noses before dispelling.

Kakashi walked over to the incapacitated missing nin, kunai in hand.

"Can… can you see the future?" Zabuza groaned out, exhausted.

"Yes. And your future… is a nice quiet life in the countryside with a cute wife and three little children."

Zabuza blinked. "Really? Oh, ok then."

Then he got up and walked off, ready to go find his destiny.

Kakashi sweat-dropped. "That actually worked? And why did he think I could see the future?" His genin shrugged, equally confused by the turn of events.

Kakashi suddenly wavered on his feet. "Oh, I must've overused my Sharingan…" And fell directly on top of the heir to the Most Noble and Most Ancient House of Uchiha, whose response was quite predictable at this point and doesn't bear mentioning despite the fact that this explanation for why it isn't being mentioned is significantly longer than an actual description of the event would be.

…

Sasuke breathed a sigh of relief as Naruto appeared outside those thrice-damned ice mirrors. With an ally outside the jutsu to provide assistance, it may be possible to defeat the ice wielder and survive their encounter. All that got thrown out the window, however, when Naruto entered the ice prison to make sure he was ok.

"What are you doing dobe? Now we're both stuck in here!"

Naruto blinked in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Sasuke grunted in annoyance. "Ok wise guy, try to leave now that you're inside here."

Naruto shrugged, performed his signature Jutsu, and replaced with the white rabbit that they had encountered before their first fight with Zabuza. True to form, the skittish rabbit was startled by the sudden change in scenery, and promptly demonstrated its masterful grasp of saltation, once again ornamenting Sasuke's face. He flailed around in a blind panic as Haku frowned, unhappy that her ultimate technique had such a prominent weakness. Naruto reentered the ice dome and smiled at Sasuke, oblivious to his Oryctolagine (1) preoccupation.

"See? I can get out just fine."

Finally having rid himself of his unwanted passenger, Sasuke scowled at the class clown, upset that he hadn't thought of such a simple solution. He quickly ran through the handseals of the jutsu, replacing with whatever was nearby that was approximately the size and weight of a child, without any significant chakra to speak of. Namely, Gato, who had been waiting with his army of mercenaries to kill the ninja when they were tired.

"Wh- what? Where am I? What happened to my mercenaries that I was going to betray those stupid missing-nin with?"

Naruto and Haku deadpanned at the greasy man, as did Kakashi and Zabuza, though their expressions were hidden behind the mist.

"I guess my fight is not with you anymore, Kakashi." Zabuza hefted his 'sword' (he hadn't retrieved the Kubikiribōchō when he left the first fight), which was actually a conglomerate of five water clones tied together with ninja wire (five times as sentient as other sentient swords), preparing to strike down the shipping magnate.

"Why was it even your fight to begin with? Didn't you leave to go find a wife and a home in the countryside?"

Zabuza nodded. "Yea, but Haku reminded me that I wanted to overthrow the Mizukage and save the Land of Water from the bloodline purges, so I decided to do that first. I need money for an army, though, so here I am again."

Kakashi tilted his head at the mist-nin wannabe's declaration. "Y'know, there's a pretty strong rebellion movement going on over there now. You could just go join that, no money necessary."

Zabuza scowled at Kakashi. "What, you're just telling me that _now_?"

Kakashi frowned. "I didn't know why you wanted money until just now."

Zabuza sweat-dropped. "Oh."

Kakashi faced forward once again, Zabuza mimicking him, ready to attack the slimeball millionaire that had planned to double cross them, when they noticed him slumped over on the ground with Naruto and Haku still deadpanning at him. "What happened?"

Naruto shrugged as Haku answered. "He had a heart attack. We weren't even directing any Killing Intent at him, he just kinda keeled over." The two jōnin chose not to acknowledge the obvious senbon sticking out of various points on Gato's body.

Suddenly, the various useless bandits that Gato had prepared to attack the ninja got bored, and decided to attack the ninja. Well, they decided to until Zabuza threw a hail of shuriken into their ranks, hitting several thugs in the face and killing them instantly. He smirked at the remaining goons, making them shy away from the insane expression on his face.

"See, I told you hitting the moustache would be fatal."

The bandits frowned in confusion, while the Konoha nin that had heard Zabuza's spiel about the vital points just sweat-dropped.

...

(1) I wanted a word like 'canine' or 'equine' but for rabbits, so I got a bit creative. Equus (genus for horses) = Equine, so Oryctolagus (genus for white rabbits) = Oryctolagine. It isn't a real word, though.

 **A/N: Three reasons why I haven't done much for my other fic in a while. 1. I haven't really had time. 2. I haven't had any good ideas. 3. I have other ideas like this one that keep distracting me. I will get back to it. Eventually. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how good it turns out) I have some new ideas that refuse to die, so you may (probably will) see some new fics from me soon. Soon meaning months or years from now. Or tomorrow, who knows. Anyway, this was a mind dump, if I have time or y'all have interest I'll post more.**


End file.
